December Writing Challenge: Day 13

Day 13: What are three things you are better at than most people?

And the difficult writing prompts just keep on coming. I really had to sit and think about this one for a while before I started writing, because I don't consider myself better at anything than anyone else. Though, after sitting through this Tech Support class for work, I'm beginning to wonder if my self-analysis was wrong. 

1. Hiding -- We'll start with an easy one. Every child learns it. Hide and seek is a very common game that young children play and enjoy; however, as time goes on and those children grow up, they typically tire of this game and move on to other things. The first thing I thought of when I read this prompt was how long I hid who I was and pulled off the act perfectly. Everyone has things that they hide, but I spent a good portion of my life hiding things that I didn't want anyone else to find out about. When I first started the process of not hiding my feelings anymore, it felt weird. Despite the fact that I had started living the life of a real me, it felt fake somehow. As if my mind had taken on the persona of that other person that I had fought so hard to be. Now that I've come out of hiding and been out for a while, it feels quite the opposite. It feels all kinds of amazing to be the real me.

2. Sarcasm -- I take a lot of pride in my sarcastic abilities. I can take just about anything that anyone says and make some kind of sarcastic comment about it. This is a talent that you have to be careful with, because it tends to piss people off. On the other hand, if that's your goal, who really cares? Find that person that really just grates on your every last nerve on one of the worst days of your life. Turn everything they say into something sarcastic, and you'd be amazing at how quickly you can turn your day around. I'm just kidding, of course. That's a horrible thing to do, and you should never do that. 

3. Drawing Blanks -- I'm really at a loss for a third thing. I've been sitting here for a few minutes trying to come up with something, and finally the sarcastic side of me decided that drawing blanks would be a perfect 3rd thing, since apparently I'm being exceptionally perfect at it right now. Oh the joys of writer's block.

December Writing Challenge: Day 12

Day 12: Name and explain the one guilty pleasure that you can't live without. ie: That cupcake shop you visit weekly, a book you read repeatedly to find solace in, etc. Then explore the idea of how you would feel if you gave that thing up for a year.


This is a really hard prompt for me to write about. I honestly can't think of anything that I have or do that I would consider a guilty pleasure. While I do have several things that I would very much not like to be without for a year, I wouldn't consider any of them to be something I couldn't live without for a year. Some of these things include my books, QB (QuoteBook), Starbucks, and music. Technically, I guess I could count my hands as well, because then I wouldn't be able to write; however, I left that out, because something tells me if I lost my hands for a year, I'm probably not going to get them back. There's a limited time frame for reattachment, and I think a year goes well beyond that time frame.

Quite honestly, I think the hardest of these things to live without would have to be the books. I spend a lot of time reading and writing, and these activities help me escape for a while from the boredom and sometimes overwhelming real world. And, unless you're Richelle Mead, the story typically ends in a good way, only slightly hinting that something worse is coming down the pipeline in the next book. Don't get me wrong. Richelle Mead is an amazing right, but she's known for her amazing cliffhangers that typically leave the reader slightly fiery about having to wait 6-12 months for the next book to come out. Great things, those cliffhangers...

I try not to think about being so attached to something that I couldn't imagine life without it, but I think that a world without books (if even for a year) would definitely be a sad world indeed. Let's do everyone a favor and not live in one of those worlds. I like my books exactly where they are, sitting on my bookshelf and waiting to be read.

December Writing Challenge: Day 11

Day 11: How are you like your mother? And if you are a mother, how is/are your kid(s) like you?


Well, I guess I get to skip half of this writing prompt, seeing as how I'm very much not a mother. I can easily say that there's been a lot of thought placed into this very question, though, because I find it amusing the way my brother and I have grown up showing various characteristics of our parents. Instead of focusing on how I'm solely like my mother, I think I'll show both sides between both my brother and me.

First, my brother and I are really complete opposites, but we both share qualities from both of the 'rents. My dad has always been known to have a very laid back personality, and it's almost impossible to make him angry. You'll always know when you've reached this target, though, because his temper is like an angry bear that you've made the mistake of pissing off. I share this personality with my dad. I feel like I'm a very laid back kind of guy, and I don't really get upset that often. When I do, I fly off the hinges though, and it takes a while for me to calm down. My mother, on the other hand, has a very fiery personality. She's quick to anger and difficult to appease once she's pissed, which is a quality she most definitely shares with my brother.

From my mom, I've acquired a love for books and a love for cooking (and also quite possibly, a love for tv shows.). I can spend hours in the kitchen baking and cooking (my mom leans more toward the baking side of things and gets agitated with cooking dinner sometimes. Hey, when you're feeding a house of five every night, it's a logical reaction). Both of us also enjoy our books. There are a few series that we have in common, but for the most part she's a romance guru and I'm a fantasy nut. When it comes to my brother, he shares my dad's love for hunting and fishing. Don't get me wrong. I love being outdoors, which leads me to quite the funny story.

One year I begged and begged dad to let me go on their hunting trip with them. Finally, he agreed, knowing very well that I was only interested in the camping aspect of the trip. The morning after we got to our camping site, we went into the forest (me with a book in tow) and sat down beside a couple large trees to wait for the hunt. I ended up so entranced by the book I was reading that I barely noticed the gunshot right beside me. I turned to him and asked "Was that you?" to which he replied, "Yeah, Josh. That was me."

My parents still get a kick out of that day in the forest. To this day, though, I have no idea what book I was reading. Only that it was much better than sitting around waiting for my dad to shoot Bambi with a rifle.

December Writing Challenge: Day 10

Day 10: What is the best and/or worst thing about your life right now?


What a loaded question. What is the best and worst thing about my life right now? I suppose I'll start with the worst, and I'll end with the best.

The worst thing about my life is the daily struggle of fighting for myself. Not in a literal since, of course, but in the sense that there's always something new to overcome. There's always that sense of not being accomplished in life. I spent seven years gaining two degrees that I'm not using. My master's degree is a hindrance to my bachelor's degree because of a lack of experience in teaching, and I'm not really sure I want to return to the college realm as a staff member working in Student Affairs. Did I love my job? I most certainly did. I loved working with students and helping them whenever possible; however, over the course of those two years, I discovered something else that I would love to be doing. I got to dabble in the world of Counseling, and it made me want to return for a second Master's in Counseling. Some other events in life made me want to specialize that degree in Crisis Intervention and Substance Abuse. That's a far off goal, though. I have student loans and credit cards to pay off.

I want to feel like those seven years made a difference in my life, and most of the time, it's hard to feel that sense of accomplishment. Sure, I obtained two degrees, but what do they really mean? To me, they're two rather expensive pieces of paper that I'm not using. But, at the end of the day, what was the point of going through seven years of college for those pieces of paper? Aw, that's the bittersweet part. It's also why I started with the worst part, because it feeds into the best part of my life right now.

The best part of my life right now is that I'm alive. I'm also, for the most part, living my life the way it was intended to be lived. Maybe I'm not in the career that I'm supposed to be in or that I want to be in, but through the two years I spent at Missouri State in the Student Affairs grad program, I met a plethora of supportive friends and an amazing guy that helped me accept myself for who I was meant to be. That amazing guy's name is Nick, and he convinced me to start the process of coming out to my friends, and everything about my life has gone uphill since then (Downside of all of that being that I kinda sorta fell in love with him and through lots of ups and downs discovered that things between us could never work out...that is a different topic entirely, though).

I'm at a point in my life now where I'm not really hiding anymore. Not everyone knows. That's not the point. The point is, I'm happier now than I ever was before anyone else knew. The point is, I want to live now.

December Writing Challenge: Day 9

Day 9: What was your favorite children's book?


I was in the third grade, and I had a nasty habit of finishing my homework in class before a lot of the other students in class. I'd sit there drawing on my desk or trying to strike up conversations with the other kids in class. Believe it or not, I really didn't read that often before then. I hated it. Until my third grade teacher, Mrs. Bell, gave me no other option. I could either pick a book off the shelf and read it, or I could go sit in another teacher's classroom in the corner (For some reason, being sent to another teacher's classroom was the thing to do when you had an unruly student; doesn't that kind of seem like a big game of "Pass the Trash" to anyone?).

So, I randomly grabbed this book off of her bookshelf and sat back down and began reading it. I surprised myself by how drawn in I was by the book. It took me the rest of the day to finish it in between class assignments, but I was hooked on it. I think I surprised Mrs. Bell the next day when I picked another book off of the shelf and started reading it (My Side of the Mountain, if you were curious to know).

I guess I have Mrs. Bell to thank for my book obsession, because it all went uphill from there. In fourth grade, I was reading Goosebumps and Boxcar Children, in Junior High it was Harry Potter, Circle of Magic, Chronicles of Narnia, and Fear Street among other things. High School introduced me to the Shannara series and the Sword of Truth series. Now? Now, there are more books on my shelf that I haven't read than those that I've finished. I'm a huge book nerd (or book slut as Heather fondly refers to it). Like writing, books are an easy escape from this world. They let you know go somewhere else for a while to get away.

I guess I strayed slightly from the prompt, but I just do what the voices in my head tell me.

December Writing Challenge: Day 8

Day 8: Why blog? Why do you or why do you like to blog (recognizing that these are not always the same thing)?


Another easy question...or at least one that doesn't take an overly large amount of thinking. I blog, because I love writing. I get behind a lot. Let's face it. It's December 18th, and I'm writing the entry for the 8th day of this writing challenge. I'm not always up-to-date with my writing, but I like to think of it as having very flexible deadlines.


I write to escape sometimes, and blogging helps with that escape process. Knowing that there's always someone out there reading what I have to say. It's not really about the fact that I know I have an audience. It's about the fact that I know I'm escaping in my writing and possibly help someone else escape by having something to read. It doesn't have to be a huge escape. Maybe it's a short break in the day. Writing helps me to shrug off the weight of a long day (or week, month, year, etc.).

I write to keep writing. That might not make perfect sense unless you're me, but if you've spent anytime in a writing class, literature class, or heard any author talk about their writing, you know that to keep writing is a daily process. Great writers write everyday, and it's my goal to be at least a good writer someday. I'd love to have something that I've written floating around on the bookshelves of Barnes & Noble someday.

Sometimes, I write to inspire. I'm a people person. I thrive on interactions with out people (for the most part. Every once in a while, I retract, but that's because I'm hugely introverted). That's why I post quotes on Facebook. I didn't author those quotes, but they inspired me, so I post them in hopes of inspiring someone else.

I have a lot of reasons for writing. It's my passion.

December Writing Challenge: Day 7

Day 7: Who or what makes you laugh so hard that milk shoots out of your nose and why? Slapstick, dry witty comedy, your kids, Monty Python? We highly encourage stories, video, photos and other things that might endanger our computer screens with flying milk! Or really any beverage.

 This has got to be one of the easiest prompts to write about! I knew exactly what I was going to write about as soon as I read it. There are so many options to choose from; however, the one that sticks out the most is the movie Marley and Me. Who would laugh at that movie, right? That's supposed to be a heartbreaking movie about a dog who works his way into the lives and hearts of his owners and then ends up dying during the movie (sorry in advance for the spoiler if you haven't seen it).

I really have no justifiable reason for being so amused by this movie, but I'll explain it anyway, and maybe someone out there will find some humor in it. I know at least one person reading this will, because she was involved in it too! 

There we were, sitting in the movie theater, watching the movie. You can see what's going to happen a mile away. It's one of those things that you just assume from the beginning of the movie but secretly hope it never happens and that the family will live happily ever after with this amazing dog. Nope. The dog dies. We all knew it was going to happen. It was inevitable. That's not the funny part, though! It was sad at first, it really was...until the woman sitting behind us started sobbing uncontrollably! The next thing I knew, my friend and I were both crying. Not because we were also saddened by this heartbreaking death but because we were laughing so hard at the woman sitting behind us! I know. I'm a horrible person, and I should not be allowed to go to movies in the theater that end in heartbreak ever again. You never know when someone's going to burst into uncontrollable tears causing you (or me) to respond with tear-jerking uncontrollable laughter.

Next, there are late night conversations. Have you ever reached that point of being so tired that everything is funny? That happened to me very recently. We were sitting in my sister-in-law's bedroom, when one of my closest friends comments on a "Nut Cure" book sitting on the bookshelf in the dining room. Now, this book had nothing to do with nuts (get your mind out of the gutter!). It said something like Nature or Nutritious. We were all so tired that my friend made quite the interpretation from a distance, which set us all off into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. I've had some really amazing times with this particular friend, and we have a knack for making each other laugh at random times.

I'm not sure if that was funny enough to make milk shoot out of your nose, but I hope you find it somewhat entertaining. I sure did at the time, and writing about it now makes me chuckle a little still.

December Writing Challenge: Day 6

Day 6: List 10 things that you would never do.


First off, I guess I should place a disclaimer at the beginning of this post, because I'm hugely against saying I'll "never" do something. While I may fight and scream and swear I'll never do something, it's quite possible I'll end up doing the thing I fought so hardly not to do. Who knows?


Theoretically, I will never...


1. Enjoy flying. I'm fairly certain it would take a divine intervention from some kind of higher power for this to ever change. This gay guy was never meant to be up in the air in a plane. Have I done it? Yes. I've flown several times. I have never enjoyed it, and cannot imagine that I ever will. Certain things tend to get me onto planes though. Relief trips to Haiti (back in 2003), and going to a UMR-ACUHO Conference/ Spending much needed time with a close friend are just a couple examples of worthy causes for getting on horrible metal birds.

2. Forget how important my friends are. I have no idea where I would be or what would have happened to me a long while ago if I hadn't had the friends that I have in my life. It seems like there's always someone around to keep me from making regrettably stupid decisions (or at least someone there to tell me it's ok or going to be ok after I've already made one of those decisions). My friends have always been there to support me and to enjoy a great laugh with. Always there to offer a much needed hug, and of course, they're always there to tell me how dumb I am when I mess up (usually followed shortly by us laughing about it uncontrollably).

3. Find an addiction more satisfying than books and Starbucks. I don't know what it is exactly, but nothing beats a trip to Barnes & Noble and Starbucks. It's never just right unless they're paired together. Sure, I can have a great time at Starbucks or a great time at Barnes & Noble, but pairing them together in one go is just pure ecstasy. Plus, if you're going to Barnes & Noble, you have no excuse for not going to Starbucks. They conveniently place one inside all of their stores!

4. Forget how to love unconditionally. I'm a huge sap! I talk a bad-ass mentality talk, but the truth of the matter is, I can't help but care for the people in my life. I really can't comprehend how people can get mad and stay that way with the people in their lives that they care about. It doesn't really even matter if it's a friend or a significant other. I can honestly say I've loved twice, and I would still do anything for either of them despite the pain that came when things ended between us. I harbor no ill-will or hard feelings toward them. I can only wish great things and happiness for them. On the same note, I like to thing that I'd do anything for my friends. It takes too much energy to hate more than one person at a time, and mine is reserved for someone already. I won't delve into that, though.

5. Understand the purpose of skinny jeans. If that's your thing, then kudos to you, but I hope you realize that I will always think you look ridiculous if you insist on wearing skinny jeans. I may snicker at you if I see you wearing them. Don't worry, it's nothing personal. I'm equally evil to all skinny jean wearers.

6. Stop writing. If you couldn't tell, I can go on for pages and pages writing about silly prompts like this one. My ultimate goal is to publish at least a stand-alone fantasy novel. My dream world would be one where I'm writing fantasy full-time or writing on the side of a teaching job. Keep dreaming, self. Keep dreaming. Until then, I'll keep chugging along in the blogging realm, because I also enjoy writing about my life and the events that happen in it. Of course, there's always the inevitable journal in any writer's life, but that's password protected for good reason.

7. Drink beer. You wouldn't think this would be something worth blogging about, but I have had more prods to try beer than any other drink out there. It will (theoretically) never happen! Beer is the most awful smelling liquid I've ever encountered, and I believe that anything that smells that bad has to taste just as awful. I'll never understand the appeal of beer when there are much better drinks out there. Come on people. Drink a Watermelon Sprite or a Rum and Coke. Much better than Beer (I also have to add that beer looks like some other liquid that I'm fairly certain if consumed would be socially unacceptable and frowned upon....).

8. Finish getting caught up on my gigantic To-Read list. I think I'm starting to realize how impossible my To-Read list has become to manage. I think I have more books on my shelf that I haven't read than those that I've already read. Barnes & Noble is my poison, but I've accepted my fate. I will keep reading until the day I die, and I'll leave all of my books to whoever is lucky (or unlucky) enough to be willed my book collection. My usual habit finds me browsing the shelves of Barnes & Noble looking for books in series that I already read when all of a sudden, my eye catches something interesting. I then proceed to read the back of said interesting book, find the first in whatever series I've discovered, and take it home to the shelf. Maybe I should start book-shopping online? (Nah!)

9. Enjoy a sunny day over a rainy day. What can I say? If you've read this much of the blog, you've probably already realized how weird I am. I will take a rainy day over a sunny day anytime. I love rain. The way it sounds, the way it smells. Nothing beats sitting outside on a rainy summer day and listening to the amazing sound. Add a good book and a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and you've got it made.

10. Regret living. I'm not an extremely unhappy person. In fact, on most days, I'm quite chipper. I didn't always used to be so delighted with life and living, though. In fact, I used to hate myself until I realized how worth it living really is. You only get to live once, and once your life is over, there's no going back. Live for the moment. Appreciate every breath that you take, because it might just be your last. I've got amazing friends, an amazing family, and a million reasons to keep on enjoying the life that I'm living. If you've read the entries before this one, you know I mention my no-so-great existence that I had before quite a bit, but it's not because I want the "woe-is-me" response or the sympathy counts. It's because I want whoever reads this to know how amazing life can be if you stay strong, jump the hurdles or obstacles and hold on to the memories and events in your life that give meaning and happiness.

"Life is filled with so many twists and turns. Hop off the straight and narrow whenever you can and take the winding paths. Experience the exhilaration of the view from the edge. Because the moments spent there, that take your breath away, are what make you feel truly alive." -Stacey Charter

December Writing Challenge: Day 5

Day 5: What is the one thing you finally did this year that you always wanted or said you were going to do, but in your heart of hearts never thought you would actually do?


This is probably just the writing prompt that I needed this year. It's extremely relevant, that's for sure. In May of last year, I began a process of becoming more real with myself and with others in my life. Around this time in 2009, I was really at war with myself as a person. I was fighting a battle that was never meant to be won, so of course I was losing. I was trying to make myself straight. I was having an internal battle with myself as I struggled to understand why I was having feelings that I never asked to have, desires for something that I at one time believed to be wrong (despite having them myself for as long as I can remember). I thought I was wrong. Thought the feelings I had were some sign that there was something not quite right about me.


Finally, I decided and made a commitment to myself that I would never enter into another relationship unless it could be real. Never again would I hurt someone in the struggle of making myself someone that I wasn't meant to be. That was step 1. Step 2 came around that May (2010) when I met someone that changed my outlook on myself and probably saved my life. He listened, offered advice, and was always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to. He convinced me to start letting other people in and to take the burden off of myself. To stop hiding. Step 3 involved building a support system. That was probably the easiest part of my journey so far.

Now on to the topic of the prompt. Step 5. The one thing that I finally did this year that I've always wanted to do: During Labor Day weekend of this year, I finally told my parents that I'm gay. It was probably one of the most difficult things that I've ever had to do before, but the sense of relief that flooded over me when they told me it was alright and that they accepted everything about me was so worth the thoughts of fear that had been holding me back. I couldn't ask for a more loving family or more loving friends.

PS: I'm finally caught up on this writing challenge! Bring it on December!

December Writing Challenge: Day 4

Day 4: In the movie version of your life, which actor/actress would play you and the significant players in your life? What kind of movie is it (e.g., Made for T.V., Action, emo/Indie, etc.)? What will be the major plot points, and how will it end?


Wow, this is kind of a loaded question. Honestly, I've never thought about who would play me if ever there was a movie made following the events in my life. To me, it seems that any actor that would be brave enough to trudge through my life would definitely deserve the part, though. I've been through numerous ups and downs. What kind of movie is it? That's easy. Probably a Made for T.V. drama. Haha. I consider myself someone that worries a lot for needless reasons, but I open my heart very easily for others. Sure, I talk a lot about wanting to beat the snot out of some co-worker or random person that drives me temporarily over the edge; however, if I had to be honest with myself and everyone else, I'd never hurt anyone or anything unless it was in defense of someone I cared about.


Anyway, before I risk getting off the topic of the prompt, I'll throw out some wishful thinking answers to the question:

The role of me: Played by Colton Haynes. Now, I'm nowhere near as gorgeous as Colton Haynes. Can't even compare in that regard; however, as a good fan and twitter-tard should, I follow Colton Haynes on Twitter. I've never seen an actor so devoted to compassionate causes as he is. He's a huge advocate for the Love is Louder campaign and is constantly Re-tweeting the Trevor Project and other organizations that are similar. Kudos to you Mr. Haynes.

The role of significant players in my life? That's a little harder to think about, so we won't go there. I guess if you read this and want to chime in, go for it.

How will the movie end? Happiness. Perfect happiness. Not just for me, but for everyone. I know, that's unrealistic, but where better than a movie to throw in unrealistic plot lines, right? So, if this is my movie, which it is, then I say that everyone will be happy. No more pain, no more doubts or fears. Everyone lives happily ever after. The End!

December Writing Challenge: Day 3

Day 3: How did you become more of a grown-up this year? Or did you pull a Peter Pan and stubbornly remain childlike?

If I'm going to be honest with myself and with the readers that know me well, I will have to admit that I've done a little of both growing up and remaining childlike this year. The grown-up me has graduated from college with a Bachelor's Degree and graduated once again this year with a Master's Degree. I'm not reliant on the campus environment for housing or food anymore; instead I'm living on my own (well, with a roommate, but still independently), paying my own bills, and living my own life. I'm taking full responsibility for doing what needs to be done in my life.

Then, there's the flip-side of things where I've allowed myself to remain childlike. I still like to go out and have a good time (with adult beverages especially). I allow myself to spend money a little more freely than I probably should. I do have bills to pay, but I've allowed myself to spend money unnecessarily on things I could probably go without, because they are things that I consider comforts. Things that I enjoy, and sometimes they are things that keep me focused on getting the big-kid stuff done too.

I'll never allow myself to be one of those people that become stuffy. Growing up happens. Responsibility happens. But life is also happening, and I have to remind myself to enjoy it while it lasts.

December Writing Challenge: Day 2

Day 2: What is the stupidest thing you did this year? What about in your whole life? You can take stupid to mean: embarrassing, dangerous, funny, lame, whatever you consider 'stupid'.

A lot has happened this year, and I have definitely made more than one mistake over the course of 2011; however, if I had to pick one mess up from the year and call it the stupidest or biggest mistake, I would say that I could have been a lot more financially responsible. I'm out on my own, paying my own bills, and the parents aren't supporting me anymore with their checkbook. It's an amazing feeling to know that you can support yourself without leaning on someone else. I have bills that need to be paid, and more bills that are on there way to my door. I will be the first to admit that I have an undying love for Starbucks and for books, and I eat out quite a bit as well. I'm not a penny pincher, but these are all places where I could have been a little tighter with money and maybe put an extra $20 or so toward a credit card payment or into my savings account. Just a little thing that one must learn. Life happens, and it goes on.

As far as the stupidest thing that I've done over the course of my entire life? That's an easy one. I let my fears prey on me and make me their victim. I've hidden under a rock of my own insecurities, and it's taken me far longer that I would have liked to accept myself for who I am and to love myself in spite of what others might say or think about me. I grew up in a very small town with very conservative values, but my life didn't hold to those values. As a result, I thought of myself as wrong and decided I needed to change my life to fit the standards of everyone else. I fought with myself for years to change what I thought should be changed, but it didn't matter in the end. I discovered that you can't change who you are as a person. You don't control the feelings and emotions that you have.

After I finally accepted myself for who I was, I still allowed my fears to play a part in my life. I hid from my friends and family the part of me that I had finally allowed myself to be. Finally, on May 7, 2010, I told two of my close friends/co-workers the secret that I kept to myself for as long as I can remember. From there, I began telling others that were close to me, and I allowed myself to live as the person I was meant to. My life has been so much better since I started coming out to my friends, and recently my family. Not constantly living two different lives has lifted a huge weight from my shoulders. I would do anything for my friends and family, but it felt really nice to be able to do this one thing for myself.

December Writing Challenge: Day 1

So, a friend of mine posts blogs on a regular basis, and she recently started a December challenge thing. It really fascinated me, so I figured I'd give it a go too. I'm only two days behind, so catching up will be a breeze!


Day 1: If the you of today could go back in time and give advice to any of the previous yous, which age would you visit and what would you tell them?

It's time to wake up and go to school. Take a shower and get dressed. Pull your things together in your backpack, and head out the door. Before you begin the walk to high school, you should stop for a second and think. Be brave. High school is a grueling time to be different, but who wants to be normal, right? Today is a new opportunity to be true to yourself and remember that you are who you were supposed to be. Nothing can change that, and nothing should.

Don't worry about what other people are going to think of you, because you are surrounded by people in your life that love you just the way you are. I know what you're going through, because I've already been through it. I'm coming back to tell you that your choices can be different if you want them to be, and everything will still turn out alright. The fears you're holding inside of you are legitimate fears, but you don't have to worry about them. Everything is going to turn out fine in the end.

Oh, and by the way. Those dark thoughts you're harboring in your mind? Yeah, the same ones you think about whenever you think about the real you being revealed to everyone around you? Let them go. Life is a gift, and it's worth every breath. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it. You're loved, so hang on to your life no matter what!

Joshua, this is your 26 year old self telling you that you don't have to hide anymore. You're exactly who you're supposed to be. Now get to school. You still have time to get to the library before the morning bell rings!